So, I've kind of been hiding from this blog... for various reasons, one of them being the post i'm about to publish... but, fear not loyal followers because i'm really going to attempt to be back in a big way this year. We have lots to cover!
So here goes...
Early mornings in TX
71 days. That’s how long I was in Texas.
Sitting on my airplane, flying above Wyoming, it’s hard to believe that I even
“lived” in Texas. When I look back on my time there, sometimes it feels like I
was there for a year, other times,
it feels like I was there a week.
Texas was an experience, filled with ups and downs. Somehow, having never loped
at a show before, I found myself working for a trainer that has won over $2
million dollars. He’s one of, what I like to call, “the Weatherford Crew”. This
is an important thing to note, because, in the cutting world, the Weatherford
Crew are the kings. The Weatherford Crew is who wins the Triple Crown Events
(The Futurity, The Superstakes and The Derby). Basically, they are the big time
and somehow this teeny tiny little Canadian found herself loping horses for one
of those men.
More horses than hours in the day
The particular man I was working for had a full barn, this meant 70+ horses… he
ran, what I like to think as, a production line cutting operation. Each horse
there was worth upwards of $50,000. In this game, in this world, that’s a cheap
horse by the way. “An amateur level horse”. In the mornings, we would get up and be at the barn for 4 am
(sometimes 5 am… a relative sleep-in). We would saddle as many three year olds
as we could. When I first arrived there were three of us lopers, a 2 year old
trainer who helped us get through the 3 year olds in the morning, and then
Boss-man and his assistant who would ride up in the top pen. Boss-man working
horses, and the Assistant turning back for him. You would warm-up a horse, and
once the Assistant whistled, you would walk the horse up to the top, hand it
off to Boss-man, take one from him, and bathe it while he worked the horse you
had handed off either on a flag, or on cows. This would go on all morning long,
once Boss-man got tired, he would leave. If there were any three year olds
left, the assistant would work the rest of them. There’s your first hint at
what I mean by production-line cutting horses. Rack em through, and let the
lesser ones fall through the cracks.
We would get lunch, which, apparently, was rare. In the summertime, they wake
up at 3 am, and work straight through until 3 pm to try to beat the 100+ F
degree summer heat. After lunch, the lopers would tackle “show horses”,
anything 4 years older and up. If any of those horses were for sale, or if
their owners were coming to ride them, we would hand them off to the assistant
to work. But, if not, we would make sure every single one got out of their
stall that day, whether that be riding them in the arena, or putting them on
the walker. While we were doing that the assistant, and the 2 year old trainer
would tackle the many two year old horses we had. Usually we got done around
4-5 pm.
Horse trainers, and their staff, are comparable to gypsies, always moving.
From there, my mind and body were so tired that I would often get into bed,
talk to my mom, check my facebook and then fall asleep. At 7:55 pm my alarm
would go off, and I would get up, we would all meet back up at the barn. We
would then have to put on the horses slinkies, sheets, and heavy blankets. Cold
days were blessed days, because it meant that blankets would have to stay on
all day. Blankets… were the absolute worst. On days were the temperature
fluctuated, as it does in Texas, we would often find ourselves spending hours
just putting blankets on and off. Sometimes, the three year olds would have all
three blankets put back on once they were dry, then, it would warm up and
heavies would hurriedly have to be ripped off, then maybe after lunch, the
sheets, then around 2 the Assistant would check the temperature and say
“slinkies should come off”, well around and around and around we’d go. At night,
if we had to put on all three, even with up to 5 of us being there, it would
take almost an hour.
So, around 9 pm, I would crash back into my bed, and sleep. Our only days off
were Sundays, sometimes (not during shows), and those days were strictly meant
for sleeping for me
Tired, covered in poultice & whining, as per usual
Now, I don’t want to make it seem like a big whine-fest, because it’s not,
that’s the reality of the big cutting horse operations in Texas. I don’t think
that’s what ALL of them are like, but I know a lot of them are. A lot of the trainers
keep their age-groups smaller and manageable, so instead of the 20 three year
olds we had, they might have 10. This means those trainers have time to really
focus on their three year olds coming up to the futurity, but also ride the
show horses and keep them tuned up aswell. That was not the case where I was,
it was three year olds all the time for Boss-Man. Unless a show was coming up,
like the Southern, this meant that Boss-Man would ride those show horses first,
and then get through some three year olds. This also generally meant earlier
mornings to accommodate for that.
Day-to-Day
Two weeks after I arrived in Texas we headed to
“The Southern”.
I am at my best when busy, I am not an idle person, I quickly found that I
really liked shows. Myself, and my roommate, “K” and another boy who started
the same time as me, “L”, headed to the show. “L” quickly became frustrated
with what he called “lack of organization”. I wouldn’t call it that, but just
needing to be on his toes. But, by the end of the show, “L” had packed his bags
and left. K and I, worked well together at the show, and figured out how to
really work with, and for eachother. It was good. At the place I was working,
the 2 year old trainer and Assistant trainer warned me that someone leaving
after a show was commonplace and that there was a “2 show curse”. After 2
shows, most people pack up and leave. This is due to Boss-man not being the
best communicator in the world, it can be frustrating, annoying and also really
tough, because it means you really have to be even more on top of it.
Home for Three Months
When we were home, the monotony of the days really got to me. I found myself
getting really lazy with my riding, because after riding 20+ horses a day
personally, my body just didn’t seem to want to care anymore. If you ever watch
lopers in the warm-up pen at a show, you will see some qualities of their
riding that comes from how many horses they have to ride a day. I never felt
comfortable slouching around at the trot… I sure do now. I can also long trot in
a sitting trot like no other. Holding the horn while you post? Lopers do that.
Holding the cantle while sitting the trot? Lopers do that. No shame. No shame
if it keeps your body from screaming in agony.
Dawn in TX
I also found myself really missing home. Seriously,
desperately missing home. When I was busy, home was the farthest thing in my
mind, when I was bored, as I would be trotting endless circles waiting for a
whistle to call me in, home encompassed my entire mind. Finally, the monotony
brought forth some serious insecurities, I wasn’t getting any one on one time
with Boss-man, and I wasn’t “learning” anything about actually cutting. My
dreams of showing felt like they were slipping farther and farther away. It was
a true battle in my mind that I would have every day – I was at one of the
biggest trainers in the world, I was working in the epicenter of it all… was I
being a spoiled little brat? Should I just keep duking it out in the trenches?
I didn’t know what to do.
Taking a break in the centre of the warm-up pen to say hello
Then, the
pre-works started and we were thrown back into “busy”.
It was mostly just “K” and I, and we were really figuring eachother out. We
were a well-oiled machine, and by the end of
San Angelo we felt
like we had really figured out our three year olds and our sights were set
straight to stun and we were ready for the Futurity. We were so confident, we
felt like our 20+ three year olds were just going to storm into Will Rogers and
sweep the whole thing.
Well… Boss-man didn’t have as much faith in us as we had in ourselves. He hired
a show-help girl that had helped him at many other shows. He didn’t tell us he
was going to do it, and it meant that the most inexperienced loper was likely
to stay home. Well, that was me. It really deflated “K”’s sails, and although I
rationalized it… she was much more experienced than I and this was a serious,
serious show for him… she had loped for him at multiple shows… he knew her
really well… my sails lost some of their puff too.
Sleepy Three-Year Olds
The futurity is 3 weeks long… the futurity is never ending.. K and the
show-help girl went down to Fort Worth most days, and I stayed home with the
boys to keep the show-horses exercised. One big plus of getting to stay home
was that the boys let me turn-back for them. This, honestly, saved me. Mentally
I was in anguish and just so badly wanted to be at home. I counted down every
single day, every single hour. It was a terrible thing to do to myself, I felt
like I’d never get home. But turning back really helped me since I was finally
doing something that felt a little more like I was… ya know… learning about
cutting. I could watch them work their horses and ask them questions after, and
it was really good for me. They were both great, especially the two year old
trainer, about breaking things down for me and letting me ask my numerous
“question of the day”. I felt like I was soaking up some of their wisdom, and
picking up on subtleties that I would have missed before. So, in the end,
leaving me behind was actually a good thing for me.
Twinning.
It was around this time that I knew that I wouldn’t be returning to Texas. (spoiler
alert – haha). K and the show-help began to fight, and bicker, and it brought
big old storm clouds over the mornings… which by the way were 3 am mornings. So
for 3 weeks, we were up at 3 am, and often done around 5 pm. For the girls down
at the show, some days they weren’t home until 9 pm. The Futurity, is not for
the weak of heart. The futurity went sideways really quickly… Boss-Man didn’t
make it past the first round on a horse that everyone expected him to go out
and possibly win it on. His second horse made it to the semis. Not the best
show for him. Each person is only allowed to show two horses at The Futurity,
so that meant he was done. Two of our horses were handed off to other trainers
in what is called a “Catch Ride”, both of those guys didn’t make it past the
first round. Our Non-Pros and Amateurs? Just as bad, I think maybe 2 people
made it into the second round, and then quickly got bounced right out.
Kickin' up their little two-year old heels after being worked
So, all of a sudden, what I thought was a seriously “winning team”, wasn’t so
winning anymore. Furthermore, Boss-Man seemed to have figured out what was on
my mind, and without ever speaking to me, made up his mind that I wasn’t coming
back. This meant that for three weeks, he maybe spoke to me… three times. Those
three times were generally a “good morning” or a gruff “thanks” for handing a
horse off to him. The atmosphere just kept spiraling downwards, and I just kept
counting down when I could come home.
The futurity ended on Saturday the 15, I flew home on Tuesday the 17.
I need to learn how to cut. That’s it. That’s all. No excuses. I’m going to be
showing by next year, and to do that, I need someone to mentor me. It wasn’t
going to happen for me where I was. This was due to multiple things… the size
of the place meant that boss-man was always busy. The truth of it is that even
if he desperately wanted to teach me every single thing he knew, he didn’t have
any time to let me work a horse, or show me how to work a horse, or anything
along those lines. Boss-Man, and the lopers (so, us), are for the most part,
gone half of every single month of the year hauling to shows. Some of them are
“home shows”, like The Futurity, this means waking up at 3 am (sometimes 2 am)
to get horses worked before we head down to the show. Away, well… you’re away…
where in that schedule does one find the time to teach someone how to cut? Plus,
Boss-man was a terrible communicator, and could be a very negative and
passive-aggressive person. This was rarely directed at me personally, but just
being around someone like that can be toxic, and it affected my mood greatly. I
was spiraling into a really dark place, and I knew that no matter how good, or
glamorous, being and working in Texas seemed, it wasn’t for me, and so I made
up my mind to leave.
Last Light
It was a very hard decision. I felt like I was walking away from the big-time.
It felt like someone handed me the golden key but then hid the door and
wouldn’t let me find it... but what’s the big-time when your just another
underappreciated minion… honestly? Not much. So, It really was for the best,
and who knows… Texas may be in my future… but not right now.
Actually. I know Texas is in my future. Because one day? I will show at Will
Rogers at The Futurity. No Excuses. Stay Hungry. Be Relentless.
So what does the Future hold you ask? Well, things are never dull around here,
so after I take a much needed break at home for the Holidays, I’ve booked a
one-way ticket tooo….
dun dun dun
you’ll just have to wait for the next post, this one was insanely long as is ;)
