A Long Time Gone... But, I am Back!

Life... is.... Good.

<Insert a hundred happy faces here>

They say no news is good news, which is probably why I've been so absent. But, lately, my mind keeps thinking it's time for me to come back to my ramblin' roots... so here's an update, and hopefully the first hello back of many more hellos (that come a little quicker than every 3 months...)

So, here is an update.

Arizona

Is getting hotter than hell. Oooo girl... this Canadian is BURNING up and, to quote the locals, "this ain't even all that bad." Well friends, it feels bad. However, other than the fact I can't rest my skin against any surface without breaking out into a dripping sweat, Arizona is treating me really, really well.

I got a dog, his name is Cash.

Who knew that a little fluffy girly-mutt dog could make my heart so fulfilled and happy? Cash is wonderful, he is goofy, sometimes disobedient, cuddly, funny, smiley... just great. He fancies himself quite the ranch dog... even though the sight of a poofy dog following behind me as I move cows around is a little amusing. He is my constant little shadow and I am happy to call him "my dog".

My job is fricken' wonderful

& there's this little two year old that I'm obsessed with.

Even when i'm complaining about my job I'm happy, it's sickening. I love my boss, I love our horses, I love our program. I LOVE how much I'm learning. I wake up, and fall asleep, feeling blessed to be riding cutting horses in Arizona whilst being surrounded by uplifting and amazing people.

I have officially shown - TWICE!

The first time I showed was a bit of a train wreck, resulting in a 63, the second time I learnt a couple valuable lessons and walked away with a FREAKIN' 75. 75s are truly what dreams are made of. It was in December of 2013 that I told my ex-Boss that I wanted to show by January 2015, only three months later I found myself showing for the first time. Dream chasing is a real thing, and I feel like the more I believe in myself, and the more I set my mind to something, the more the universe gives to me... it's amazing, and humbling.

I have a life here.

People from home come & visit! 

Everybody wants to escape to warm Arizona!!

When I was in Texas I was suffering from homesickness... terrible, dark homesickness. I went home for the holidays and wondered to myself if I could ever make a life for myself somewhere other than home. The homesickness I was feeling was a lot deeper than just being away from home for the first time, it was a homesickness that made me question leaving behind my roots, the physical place I loved so much, a friend group where I had finally cultivated happy healthy relationships, my family. It took awhile for me to fall into a rhythm here too, but once I did I settled right into what feels like a life. It's refreshing, a teeny bit scary, and I'm excited to see where it goes from here.

but then, there is always, my most beloved...

Home

Jingle. Plain & Simple.

I miss Jingle with my whole heart, I feel like my life is falling into place here but i'm just missing... and lacking.. this major piece. A few weeks ago my farrier gave me a call that my horse was a little unkempt and acting a little wild. Brigitte, my Best-friend, went out to groom him and remind him of manners and snapped this photo for me. He is so handsome <3. She also said he was squirrely through most of it, until she groomed his mane and tail. She said he seemed to remember all the time I've spent braiding him and grooming his mane and tail over the years. So cute. sigh. miss him so much.

But - this too is falling into place - i'm hoping come October I can get Jingle on a trailer and have him down here! Cannot wait for Jingle amongst the Cactus!!

Summer.

I am heading home for the summer - for July and August. I'm going to be part of the Stampede Ranch Girls again, and I plan to serve at my old restaurant so I can make some money to put into my savings. Finally, that means i'll get to spend more time with my boy - Jingle! It's bittersweet... I don't want to leave Arizona, but I need to get my affairs in order, and as the temperature creeps above 110 F I'm thinking the summer months are the prime time to leave. Besides, what's 60 days?

Happy to be back, and hoping to catch up with all of you. :)

Adventures in being "Turned Out"

From Princess Pony to... Fuzzy Draft x Pony Cross...

This is what I left:

Sleek, Shiny, Rodeo Star, General Badass...

 This is what I came home too:

Fuzzy, Fat, Cheeks bigger than a Clydesdale...

Jingle has been "turned out", and although he's still in a blanket throughout these cold months, he's really reversed back to his old shaggy disheveled ranch-horse self. That includes a wee bit lacking in the manners department section...

This is how I feel about his no manners self... ergh.

Stop.Being.A.NitWit.and.Love.Me

I found myself attempting to braid his mane (which is scraggly and lacking and so sad) and tail... as if that would bring back my sleek horse...

Frosted Tips = Princess Horse?

It didn't.

My farrier came out and Jingle was awful, oh right... he hasn't had a person pick up his feet since my farrier last saw him 8 weeks ago...

"Tehehe, screw farriers, what are manners, where are my friends, gimme cookies and get out"

Jingle also had his shoes pulled in September (remember... turned out), in the end i'm happy with how his soles and hoof wall look, both seem very strong. He's always had chipping on his hinds, which is definitely accentuated and his fronts didn't look very pretty from where he's growing out old nail holes. A very concerned Louisa asked her farrier what we can do about that... the response...

A crooked eyebrow, a head shake at me and a "put shoes on him, but you wont, because he is turned out"

Well then.

Yes, Jingle is loving life in semi-retirement, he is fat and fuzzy and happy. He munches hay all day and hangs out with an annoying bay that refuses to leave me alone. He no longer looks like a sleek machine because he doesn't need too be right now.

& his owner... she needs to get the heck over herself.

My most favourite thing in the whole wide world.

But, some things are still the same, Jingle is still an absolute cookie monster who loves his long brushes, and will still reluctantly do his stretches for me. I still completely adore him. Although I have visions of cowboy challenges and low-level dressage in our future, when asked at a get-together the other day what I "wanted" of Jingle in the future I had to pause. "Well, I would really like to wake up every morning, walk out to his field, and have my cup of morning coffee with him." 

So, being turned out has been a learning experience for both Jingle and I. 

Jingle is learning how to expand his belly every single day, and I am learning to stop over-reacting, and get over myself as a horse-mom.

Baby steps.

Because I miss Ponyboy...

... I purchased this Tory Keepsake ID Padded Bracelet for myself off Horse.com

I actually love the quality, the leather is really soft and supple and the padding is comfortable against my wrist. My co-workers teased me mercilessly for it, (they said I was a big lame-o haha) but I really love this bracelet. I think it looks really clean, polished and timeless. It also means a little piece of him is always with me, even when we're in different countries. :)

My Teammate.

I miss Jingle.

A lot.

Leaving him behind was pretty hard on me. For a year he's pretty much all I focused and devoted my passion too. I'm obviously getting more than enough horse-time down here, but it's not quite the same. Jingle is, first and foremost, mine, so I could do with him whatever I pleased. Work on something in the arena today - done, go for a trail ride - perfect, spend hours grooming him and playing with him but never getting any actual work done - let's do it. I'm really missing heading to the barn and having that "alone" time, in my own head, working on something with my most favourite teammate. Jingle is the experiment horse, much to his chagrin, when I hear about a training technique, or think up a new thing we should learn, we both go to plodding through it. I miss my lazy days, and my plodding days, I even miss our bad days. I am very excited to go home and see him, even if I might not get a chance to ride him.

Taken on one of our last days at the barn before I moved him. We played the "chase" game, which is where I run through and over obstacles and he follows me around. I love to turn around and watch him pole-bend with me. haha.

Saying goodbye to my baby for the next few months

I don't even think I blogged about jingle's "new home", because it made me so sad. In fact he got a massage done right before I moved him and left, and the masseuse was so in-tuned to me and my ponyboy that she looked me right in the eye and said, "This may seem weird but sometimes I feel like horses "talk" to me subconsciously, have you told him you are leaving yet? I think you need to have that conversation with him... he knows you'll come back." I instantly, without any warning from my own body, burst into some real-time Oprah ugly crying. She went on to ask me if I ever "talk" to him subconsciously and I admitted that I do, quite a bit. I then went on to explain how hard it was for me to leave him, because I had once promised him that I would never leave him again. Once upon a time he went missing for two months at the ranch he was born and raised on, I had already planned to buy him, and once he was located and came home, I made that promise - that he would always be mine and always be safe, and that I would never leave him. We had a good talk, and the next day I had a good "talk" with my horse. It's all a little woo-woo and airy-fairy, and if you know me you know I'm neither, but in the end I felt comfortable in my decision to leave him for a short time.

 However, there is a positive, I was really lucky and found him an amazing place. A co-worker of my moms has land and three daughters and a wife that show competitively in the breed circuit. I've known him for a long time as well because I also worked at her office on and off for the past couple years. I couldn't keep Jingle at the barn we were boarding at because it was just too expensive. Luckily, they offered to take him for quite a reduced price. It's a nice place, big and well-fenced, and also really well taken care of. Jingle is out with some other horses and is checked up on everyday. I pester them with emails every couple weeks and now that it's gotten cold he's in the blanket I wanted him in, and seems to be happy. The other day, through email, they said he could stay as long as I needed and that he isn't a bother at all - which is wonderful, and a huge weight off my shoulders.

Jingle at his temporary home, on his Fall/Winter break. "Semi-retirement" as he likes to call it, is suiting him nicely.

I even sent Brigitte out to go see him, and bring our cantankerous farrier with her to trim his feet. (I also pulled his shoes before I left... serious new life for ponyboy.) Brig snapped some photos for me, and true to form he is very fuzzy, has lost all that beautiful muscle to some big time pudginess, and his mane is an every-which-way mess. As many of you will remember, Jingle was always groomed and braided to the nines... his mother is a little psychotic. However, he seemed very happy (she reports), and to me that is all that matters.

Can't be too happy though... that's only reserved for when we are together ;)

Anyways, this nostalgic, sad, I miss and love my horse post was spurred on by this article a friend posted from Horse.com about a study that proves that some horses and riders have a co-being relationship. "Study: Some horses and riders have co-being relationship". In short, "Co-being refers to a state of relationship in which each partner evolves to “fit” better with each other, both physically and mentally." I think this is something that most riders know already, and as this blog post shows, I am a firm believer that Jingle is my co-being... but interesting that a study has now proven it - give it a read if you're interested!

Babies (& Mamas!) First Gymkhana

"Mahm, I really think you have me confused with some other horses that wants to do stuff like this..."

On Sunday Jingle and I went to our very first gymkhana ever. There's a fun (affectionately referred to as "Beer League") by some Gymkhana series close to our barn, and during winter/spring I had it in my head that we'd work toward that and by the time they started Jingle would be loping all the patterns like a bo$$. Well... my season turned into a bit of a season of Jingle being lame, sore, pulling shoes etc. etc... so by the time the August Gymkhana hit I think i'd only been "riding" him for two weeks and that was light, light riding. Realistically by the time this one came around I hadn't been riding much either, but we had gotten back to loping, he was listening to me as good as he generally does and most importantly, he was feeling strong again. So, I thought, heck - let's do it, who cares if we only trot the patterns!

There was a photographer who was there, and luckily for me there's photos from both times I did barrels.

Barrels:

I was weirdly nervous but Jingle entered the arena just fine and trotted happily through the pattern, we just recently started "going left" to our third, and I really need to keep my leg on him through the second barrel... so I think that's what this face is all about haha.

This is Jingle, just looking like a serious boss.

These photos crack me up for various reasons...

Barrel 1, First Run:

 Barrel 1, Second Run:

.. Oh, you know, just casually doing the exact same thing with the same dead-angry look on my face. Realistically though I had my reins much too loose for both my runs and wasn't focused enough to crawl my reins. I learned my lesson, and Jingle definitely took advantage of my extra-long reins.

On our second run, Jingle blew out on me past second and picked up a bit of a frazzled lope, causing his rider to get even more frazzled. I could hear "WRONG SIDE" and I thought, what? & then, I realized - doh - I was coming at the barrel from the wrong side. Due to the fact I've just started "going left" with him, I completely forgot the pattern - rookie move. haha I just laughed it off, finished it off and loped home. What more could I do?

I love this photo... I love my horse.

Poles:

Unfortunately there is no photo or video documentation of poles. Jingle was really good, I had visions of knocking every single pole home, but thankfully he weaved just the right amount and not a single pole was knocked. My only issue during poles was that I was letting him lope home and his stop was ... not quite there... I honestly think I should have just been sitting down and shutting him down sooner, but my friend Caron and her horse Quiz did have us hurtling into her area once she was done her run. Woopsies. The guy at the gate gave me a stern look and a "turn the other way next time", sure sir, I promise I wont "plan" to run into my friend again. haha Sigh.. the amount of times Jingle has run me into inappropriate things in my life.. I tell ya.

It was wonderful timing that my friend Sarah and her son, Ben, arrived to watch the last two events we participated in, so we have video AND photos of those. Also, my friend's mom was there, and she also rides with us, between Poles and the next event, Stakes, she basically told me to buck up and start loping. 

The conversation kind of went like this...

Her: "Louisa, you have a good seat, it's time to pick up the speed, what's the worst that could happen?"

Me: "Uhm Jingle could run into the other person, and then hop the fence and maul a child..."

Her: "Lope."

Me: "Ok. I will."

So she is the voice you hear on the videos saying "LOUISA! COME ON!" haha.

Photo Ops are always welcome because my horse is the most gorgeous boy in the whole world...

Seriously, some random lady told me that, no joke.

She said she "loved him and thought he was exceptionally beautiful"

Jingle says, "datz right, I am zeeeeeeee prettiest of all zeeee paints in da world"

The venue isn't so bad either... a beautiful day with hay bales and the rocky mountains in the distance..

Stakes:

K, I'll shut up now, video time:

Stakes Race, Run 1

Stakes Race, Run 2

Jingle and I clearly need to work on our speed-turns, we were kind of taking them like a giant wrecking ball, hence the announcer telling me to stay on my side in that last video. I think they feared we were going to wrecking ball straight into their eye-cameras.

Thread the Needle:

Team Pow-Wow

Thread the Needle is kind of nerve-wracking, you have to run into an "enclosed space" turn quick and then book it right out... I had visions of just mutilating ALL THE POLES.

Thread the Needle, Run 1

Thread the Needle, Run 2

I thought our Thread the Needle went really well, especially our first run - homeboy pivoted like a goddamn champ. Anyways, as you guys can probably tell - I am on cloud 9 about how wonderful my boy did at the gymkhana. We had some hiccups about getting on - apparently Jingle thought not allowing me to get on would be a fun game, and I always forget he HATES arena dirt in back SMB's, so he stomps around like a whiney baby until I can take his "dirty socks" off. 

Please critique and give me advice as you see fit, but much like my friends 12 year old cousin being told she needs to shorten her reins in her patterns, I'll probably just give you the same "lalalalalalalaa i love my horse" big-ass smile, and not listen to a word you have to say. WEEEEEE, Jingle is da best.

Relationships and Horses

I've been toying around with the idea of making this blog a little more lifestyle, and a little more personal. So, you know.. instead of talking about furtniture choices with you guys, why not dive right in to the nitty-gritty?

A couple weeks ago, Jingle and I were struggling. We were having some serious communication issues, and I found myself frusterated and annoyed. Usually, if we're having a bad day I think to myself, "work harder", on this particular day I thought, "give up and crawl in a hole." Of course, my time with horses has taught me a lot about myself... usually when I'm really struggling, something is going on in my personal life.

& of course, something was.

I had been seeing someone, when we met he knew I was planning on moving. I was content exsisting in a fairy land of happiness until I left. He, however, grew more stressed, bitter, angry and sad about it. Just as quickly as he came into my life, he walked right on out.

Don't worry, I'm okay. Like many of you are probably thinking, "it was for the best", and it was. However, in the moment, that line of rational thinking doesn't take away from the hurt or sadness of the situation. I have always marvelled at how easy someone can come into your life, and how easy it is for them to, all of a sudden, just be gone. I have been dealt much dirtier, more emotional breakups than this one, but it's still interesting to me how all of a sudden someone's presence can go from being there, to being missed, to grower into a tinier little hole, until all of a sudden one day you wake up and your content, your okay with them being gone.

The next morning, after a particularly emotionally draining goodbye, I headed out to see Jingle, on my mind was relationships, and communication issues. I mulled over these topics while I groomed, and rode, and then gave him a bath. All the while, he was the gentleman I needed him to be.

When it comes to relationships, the truth of the matter is, I shy away from conflict, and instead tip-toe around it. I'm a wimp, I'd just rather... not. In everyday life i'm so independent and self-assured, but when it comes to "fighting" with someone... i'd really rather just say i'm sorry (even if i'm not) and then run away from the conflict (even if I cant). This is something that just recently dawned on me as an issue in how I handle conflict, and what's even more interesting is that I don't think people who know me would describe my personality as one that "shys away from discourse", much the opposite really.

So where did all this self-realization come from? Horses, naturally.

I got to thinking about Jingle, and the many ups and downs we have had. For most of us, especially those of you who read my blog, and blog about your own trials and tribulations with your horses, our horses are semi-permanant fixtures in our lives. Most of us are not trainers, and the horses we have are the horses we will continue to work with. Not many of us have the luxury of "buying up", so to speak, bigger, better, showier etc. When we are faced with a problem, we are also faced with how we're going to fix it.

Horses don't have human emotions, no matter how much I like to "talk" for Jingle. If they are being "mean", "pissy", "rude" or "ornary", something is going on, and it's the riders job to figure it out. Horses can communicate clear as day sometimes, and other times, you have to dig to find out what's going on. Maybe your mare is cycling, your gelding has a mild case of colic, your horse doesn't appreciate your spurs banging into it's sides, your saddle isn't fitting right, your pad is bunched up, there is a horse in the arena more dominant than your own and your horses mind is there, not with you, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on. More often than not, our own actions and physical responses are illicitating responses from our horses. I do think horses can have "moods" so to speak, but I think they are more intuned with the world around them, and the emotions of their riders, than our own human emotions can be.

Let's take for example something Jingle and I have been working on steadily for a year - slowing down his gaits (and in turn, his mind). His mind is such a flurry, so fast-paced, that slowing him physically down has been an uphill battle. A lot of times, his response is to swing his head up and away, to bolt, to scatter sideways - generally, messy. It has taken a lot of time, and slow, consistent work to get him to do a nice, even-beated jog. Even more so, somedays he's perfect, and other days it's just not there. It's an ongoing work-in-progress. Some days, usually when i'm distracted or unfocused, I despise that work in progress, but most days I am happy to pick and plod away at something we are working on. I love the little triumphs, I relish in the even bigger successes. Hard work pays off.

This led me to thinking, how many times have I exhibited the same amount of try and work ethic  in a human-human relationship? Obviously, some relationships come and go, but in other instances, did him or I just give up because it seemed easier than working... and working hard... on something? I'm sure I have. I've ducked away from conflict and I've ducked out of relationships. Even more so, have I hidden from the real issues in a relationship, and hidden behind fake decoy issues? Yep, I've done that too.

With Jingle, I'm not allowed to do that. You can't end a ride on a bad note, (okay, you can, everyone has but I strive not too everytime I ride - no matter the mood I am in, or how helpless I feel about my riding ability, or my horse) You can't just give up and walk away either... Jingle's board is a little too expensive to never ride him again, and he's the only horse I got. Of course, I could sell him, but that would shatter both of us - so we keep working, we put serious time and effort into our relationship. He takes a step, I take a step. He falters, I go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate.

With horses, it's about try, will and dedication. It's a true partnership, in every sense of the word, if something isn't working... you just have to take a big deep breathe, and work even harder.

So that's where I am right now, something to think about, something to think over, and something to continue to elaborate on. Something I hope to bring to the table in my next relationship.

But, for the here-and-now, in the present, single-Louisa is going to go out to the barn tonight and work on transitions... because, what else can I do?

Trickster.

This is what I did today.

(Okay, I also worked on some technical stuff.. but that's no fun)

Okay, Okay I know everyone stands on their horses backs these days...

In fact, lately I get a feeling that it's pre-req for selling "broke horses"

But, I've never done it, and today, I did it - on my own wild-eyed paint!

Realistically, I play around on Jingle a lot, and he's used to me doing silly things,

I've already kneeled on him a few times, but I've always been too nervous to stand up.

Jingle was cool as a cucumber and I was the one that was shaking at the knees as I got up in the air. I'm a big chicken, what can I say?

One of these days I'll maybe try to cue him to move while I'm like this, but for now, I'm pretty happy with him just standing there dopey-eyed.

I guess what's so special about my new circus trick is that this was us, the summer of last year...

Jingle had been gone for a year, and still seemed pretty sketchy, and I was still nervous enough of him that when he first came home it took a lot of courage, and ribbing from friends, to ride my horse.

For a couple rides, I only rode him in a round-pen.

After a couple rides in the round-pen, I finally plucked up enough courage to ride him "out"

...which was in a fenced-in yard to our barn.

& we've been going "strong" ever since...

We've come a long way baby.

(and yes, I am wearing the same shirt - happy coincidence haha)

"Versatility" with Jingle.

When I brought Jingle home, it wasn't because he was going to be my next 1D Barrel Horse, or Futurity winnter, it was because I loved him so dearly that my heart would ache when he wasn't near. The two of us have a sometimes weird, inseperable bond. Sometimes, in my craziest moments, I often think that he can truly understand me when I speak to him. When he first came home, my Mantra for Jingle was that he could be whatever he wanted to be. This meant in the first year of our official partnership we stumbled through a few disciplines, jack of all trades, master of none kind of thing.

I basically just wanted to test out a bunch of things, and whatever discipline he seemed to like best, would be what we would do together. It was kind of a radical experiment in horsemanship... do what the horse wants to do. Now, a year later, a couple lameness and saddle fit issues have caused some set-backs and we haven't been able to fully attempt this experiment of mine or even show. (Gymkhana pony was suppose to be on the list for this summer... not happening as of right now).

But, goddamnit, we have dabbled!

Here's a year in review:

When I first brought him home, I dreamt of glittery shirts and saddles, and that flat-footed WP jog. My very forward horse had different ideas and really needed to learn how to slow down, something we are still working on.

Western Pleasure - not in the near future.

To get him to slow down, and think, we dabbled in Trail. Something I think that with time, and consistency, and a big check on his attitude, Jingle will actually excel at. This, so far, has been a contender for what my horse "wants to do".

We've tried Sorting, which continues to confuse Jingle.
His cow-sense is a bit... lacking.

Jingle: If you say so mahm....

Jingle's most favourite title, "kids horse"

Jingle likes this because I am on the ground, where he can see me (no tricky business - like leg yields), the riders are small and have little control (pesky mahm being on the ground does though), and he doesn't have to work hard. Perfect.

He also thinks that perhaps it's time for us to try Liberty Horse...

Jingle: You will not be needing THIS torture device any longer Mahm.

... which he thinks means "at liberty to not be ridden"...

Jingle: Fooled me once... You are NOT Stacy Westfall Mahm.

We've even strapped on an english saddle and Jumped a few baby cross rails - now that was fun.

Jingle: Yes, readers, that is my dork mother wearing cowboy boots when she's riding an "english horse"... le sigh.

More often than not, Jingle desperately wants to be a  pasture puff...

Jingle: Look how exceptionally regal I am without tack, or rider. Why would you want to mess with that?!

Jingle has done the Guide Horse thing...

He also holds the record as potentially the worst guide horse ever to debut at the ranch. His stunts included, but are not limited to, suddenly deciding to lope through forests, pulling back violently, forgetting how to turn left and never being particularly safe, or trustworthy out in the bush. However, he was, and remains, the fastest walking horse I have ever sat. His drive is incredible, but also takes over his brain sometimes, which often results in us crashing through brush and deadfall without taking a moment to.. ya know... think.

However, he has decided that being a Ranch Horse isn't so bad..

His favourite activities continue to be: walking fast, getting places, crashing through things, playing in water... all things he has decided a "ranch horse" can do.

Jingle: Please don't listen to a word this crazy lady has to say

So, that is where we are now - sorta kinda figuring stuff out, this spring and summer has been a bit of a dissapointment riding-wise. Between his problems and how busy I've been, we haven't spent much time in the saddle at all. However, one thing that my horse totally and completely excels at

is being my shoulder to lean and cry on...

&, I would take that over any discipline, any time.

However - unbeknowst to Jingle, I've decided next on the agenda is Roping and Dressage... get ready for it!

Jingle: WUT?! You can't be serious..

Jingle: I thought we were friends, people, but animal services has yet to come and collect me. What a hard life this life is.